There is a boy.

I've never met him but I know him very well.

I think about him every day. I wonder how he is when he doesn't post for two or three days. I worry. I hope that he's alright.

He always is.

I still worry though.

If he sent me a message that said

come here. run away. come and be with me.

and really meant it, in earnest

I might actually do it.

I don't know if I could break a heart, though. I'm not sure if I could live with myself.

It's a surprisingly difficult hypothetical that I think about more than I should.

Because I could love him.

I mean, I do love him, in a sense. I care about him. I feel bad when bad things happen to him. I want to make it better but I don't know how.

It doesn't really matter, because who's to say he would even have me?

I still think about it, though.

Maybe I'm just a bad person.