vignette 5/16

I pre-ordered my new Evo 4G LTE the day that preorders opened. It should have shipped about five hours ago now, according to the internet. I have not received an email indicating this. Buzz on various tech websites and the sprint forums indicate that due to Apple fuckery, the phones are being held up at customs because of some patent bullshit and may not ship until the 25th, if then.

If this is true: FUCK YOU APPLE. It isn't enough that I have to update iTunes every 2 days, or that my ipod nano that I bought in 2010 is somehow worse and less intuitive than my original video ipod I got in 06, or that you have millions of hipsters in coffeehouses worldwide typing away publicly on your shit so that everyone can see how fucking cool they are. Just because I don't want your fucking phone, means I can't have the one I DO want? The guy on the forums was right, this is fucking FUBAR.

I'm already pissed that a couple of days ago amazon wireless started offering preorders $50 cheaper than what I paid. But I thought no, it's OK, I'll be sure to get mine before I get on the train to Atlanta and the boyfriend and I will have two good weeks to play with it so I can show him how great Android really is, when it isn't bound to shitty hardware like the piece of crap samsung he has. And now this. What an epic piece of bullshit this is.

I realize that this is the epitome of first world problems. But I have needed a new phone since December when a mechanical fault in my original Evo suddenly caused the media volume to constantly be on max whenever headphones are plugged in. Really, I've needed a new one since last year when the power button on my first Evo stopped working and I traded it in for a refurb. The power button works fine, but the back speaker appeared to be incomplete and the sound from it has always been tinny and distorted. For $90 a month after taxes and fees and $200 up front for the original phone, this is not the kind of shit I'd care to be dealing with ATM.

Fucking fuckers. Shit.

4am

Sometimes on nights like this when I've had a strong drink and I'm a bit loopy I think, well, maybe being an alcoholic wouldn't be so bad, if I could afford to pay for a constant supply of booze. The only trouble with it is that I'd have to pee all the time, and I hate that. I guess I could always develop a xanax habit, but the internet told me that the sedative effect wears off after a few days of consistent use.

C'est la vie.

minor confessions

I have dreams about Scott sometimes. Dreams where I feel the same way I used to about him. It fades when I wake up, but there's always a twinge of loss. Occasionally I still miss him. He was so... different from anyone else I've ever known. Not always in good ways, but finding anyone you're 100% compatible with is extremely rare.
I spend my whole life wondering what if, about countless things. I still ponder what might have become of us if he felt the same way about me that I did about him. If I would be somewhere more exciting, if he would have pushed me by now to become greater than what I am.
Not having him isn't what bothers me. It's not knowing that keeps me up at night.
Oh well. Back to the old grind.